![]() ![]() The fact that the rules are currently stable also has a calming effect … I do not want to have the opportunity to earn any kind of relaxation of my rules and restraints – that would only be a cause of stress for me. are good things and a sign that all is well. Of course I would like my life to be easier, but the prisoner must adapt, and chains, locks, routines, etc. ![]() Stricter rules keep my mind in check in some sense. I know that it is very strange but I feel safety and pleasure from the fact that I am locked in and taken care of. It makes me feel that nothing bad can hurt me, and for that feeling I’m willing to pay a lot. But these thoughts are soon gone and then I see things from another point of view – tight constraints feel protective of me – it means that no one or nothing can take me away from here, I’m safe from all harm. Sometimes the constraints and all of the, rules, procedures, locking systems and their backups annoy me very much. My feelings and thoughts are like a roller coaster ride. It is hard to be so still – I want to exercise more, although I do still get my 1 hour of exercise per day. There have been times recently when the leg irons have infuriated me, along with the fact that the hobble chains are locked to the floor and that I am constantly locked in a seated position. My experience of the new restraints after more than three months is quite different to the corset. It would be really nice to spend such a day outside with friends and acquaintances, but I cannot have everything. I got to sit on my outdoor bench and enjoy a little of the barbecue food. Recently, for the first time this summer, there was a barbecue outside with meat, potatoes and salad. As I move around so little I do not need to eat very much, and my committee and I have a good idea of how much food I should eat so that my weight is stable and I remain healthy. Regular small meals seem to be the best when tightly corseted as there is less room for food. One effect of wearing the corset all the time is that I am given six small portions of food per day. When the corset is tightened normally I do not feel it, so I was relieved when it could be properly laced again. Then, I hated the fact that I could feel the collar and back chain, which is between the collar and waist. When I was sick recently the corset was laced looser than normal. I do not get to decide how tight the corset is laced. It is only laced tight enough to support me and give me the correct posture, but it could be much tighter I think. ![]() My corset lacing is always pretty much the same – my guard knows how tight to lace it, and another committee member, who made the corsets, checks occasionally that it is the correct tightness. The corset now feels like the norm for me. I got a new corset recently – it may be a little stiffer than the old one, but at the same time the material breathes better, so it is good for the summer months. I like the support it gives and the feeling of a constant hug. I have only good things to say about having the corset locked on me every day. I have very different experience with each one, however. As far as I know both will remain a part of my life for the long term. It has now been three and a half months since I was placed in enhanced restraints, and almost three months since my corset was introduced. Last weekend was a great celebration of summer, the midnight sun, and only the week before it was snowing when I was in the yard outdoors! Hopefully the warmer weather will stay now for a while. ![]()
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